


Liability

by aswellingstorm



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, andy asks angela out on a date using his acafellas on the office phones, i used the word liability to much in this fic i kinda hate it now lol, or dont im just thinking of that time on the office when, take a chance! on this fic, this is a shameless fic, yo i didn't proofread this lol sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-13 04:29:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11752014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aswellingstorm/pseuds/aswellingstorm
Summary: Bughead/betty-centric song!fic with Lorde's liability.Betty's been nothing more than a liability for all of her life and one night it becomes too much.





	Liability

**Author's Note:**

> aswellingstorm.tumblr.com

With a heavy sigh, Betty let herself fall onto her bed, ignoring the fact that neither Alice nor herself had made it that day. Normally, she didn’t allow pity parties for herself, but it had been a particularly tiresome day. She decided she was _allowed_ to be upset, especially when someone had turned the Perfect Stepford Family switch on for her parents and Polly (effectively sweeping months of emotional trauma under a rug that was too small to include Betty), Cheryl had just tried to _kill_ herself and her boyfriend was leaving Riverdale High-Betty knew it was the beginning of the end and it was just _too much_. She pressed play on the remote for her blue tooth speakers, letting the lyrics echo in her head as she closed her eyes.

\--

**_Baby really hurt me, crying in the taxi. He don’t wanna know me, says he made the big mistake of dancing in my storm, says it was poison_ ** _._

She exhales, let’s herself remember _that_ night on the front steps of her house with Archie. All of her life she had been conditioned to strive to be the greatest-the best in anything she did. The politest student in class, the most dedicated young ballerina, the most focused child in karate, the smartest amongst her peers. Betty aimed to not only meet her parent’s expectations-but exceed them. By the standards of other adults in her life-she had. But this had never earned any praise from either Cooper parent.

So she pushed herself _harder_. Because she had to be perfect-perfection was the end-all, be-all goal. A perfect resume would get her _so_ far with colleges, she’d get into the best schools. Betty aligned all of her extra circulars to reflect her scholarly interests, and then, thanks to Veronica she had _finally_ been accepted as a River Vixen.

It was a great point for college applications, it made her seem far more well-rounded. But she wasn’t lying when she told her mother she did it for herself, there was so much satisfaction in joining the squad. She was well on her way to becoming _perfect_ , surmounting the insurmountable goal. As a cheerleader, it would’ve been _perfect_ for her to date the latest varsity player, Archie.

It was perfect for more than one reason, she had supposed. In Betty’s eyes they were a classic love story-boy next door meets girl next door. Promised to be engaged since grammar school, always growing closer and never apart. A relationship was the next logical step for them-perfect sense.

 Which is why she was so confused when her feelings remained unreciprocated, the words almost didn’t compute in her brain. She had asked for them, plainly, to make them all the easier to process.

-“I’m asking you now, right now, if you love me, Archie?” The teary blonde had just wanted a yes or no answer, but upon realizing how likely the _no_ was, she added, “Or even like me?”

-A pause, a beat, conversation that fell on deaf ears until he admitted the truth. “You’re so _perfect_ , Betty, I’d never be good enough for you…I’ve never _been_ good enough for you…”

And what did that even _mean_? The scar was ages old-healed in its entirety, but still there, lingering underneath the surface of her pale skin.  Her chest tightened, mimicking the heartbreak it endured on that night. The night that the word perfect-her goal, motivation, all that she was aspiring to-became a prison. 

Betty had worked tirelessly, couldn’t recall what it was like _not_ to be constantly multitasking and has never half-assed anything in her life. There were sleepless Sunday nights for her, hours she spent pacing the floor worrying about an English paper she’d receive the following day-had she left a dangling participle? Was she using direct-object nouns correctly? All the worries her fellow peers, sixth graders at the time of this incident, had evaded.

She wasn’t _born_ perfect; she had struggled to achieve such a title. She was raised to believe it was a good thing-the golden pedestal of life that she was eager to climb.

But now here was the boy, the idea of whom she was deeply in love with, using the word _perfect_ as if it were an insult. Being _perfect_ was Betty’s downfall, her one flaw was being _flawless._ As the words dropped from the naïve boy’s mouth, they transformed themselves and wrapped around her body like a vice, cutting off her air and making her skin itch-it just didn’t feel quite as comfortable anymore.

\--

**_So I guess I’ll go home into the arms of the girl I love, the only love I haven’t screwed up._ **

She lifts up her phone, holding it above her face. The lyrics are hitting too close to home-she wants to change the song but not if it means seeing the lock screen of her phone. She doesn’t want to talk to anyone-not right now. She wants to be by herself, deny any interaction. Tapping the home button to change the song would mean activating her notification tray. Betty’s unsure of what’d be worse-a handful of missed texts from her friends, parents, boyfriend-or nothing at all. The world didn’t revolve around her-that much she knew, her hibernation from her inner circle had only been transpiring for _maybe_ five minutes.

 ** _She’s so hard to please but she’s a forest fire. I do my best to meet her demands, play at romance_**  

So she just stares at a black screen, unblinking at her reflection that feels too foreign. Betty _is_ the smartest among her peers-that much has remained true-she knows the truth. Alice Cooper may put all of these wild expectations on her-to have a 4.0 GPA, an extensive community service list, well-rounded rapport of after-school activities, to ignore a love life altogether-but the hard truth, _Betty’s_ truth, is that no one is harder on the girl than herself.

Every missed half point, service trip that doesn’t fit into her over-packed schedule, missed connection is a disappointment exclusive to herself.

She’s clever, witty and sneaky enough to conceal a fault or two from her mother, but she can’t hide them from herself which has revealed to be a far worse fate. It doesn’t help that she has more expectations on herself than her mother, Jughead had rightly accused her of trying to be the perfect girlfriend.

She _needed_ to be. It was an absolute necessity for her to execute every role in her life with complete grace and excellence. Everyone always tells her, rather cryptically, that at the end of the day the only one she can count on is herself.

As she continues to stare at her reflection, she decides there is no error in such a belief. Her reflection may change, her shadow can shift, but they’ll both follow her to the ends of the earth-even beyond her own life. In that case, perhaps she should be nicer to herself. Be more forgiving of her faults, acknowledging that there are some phenomena out of her control.

 _I’ll work on it_ , she determines, closing her eyes, reveling in the slight burn behind her lids, and letting her phone rest on her chest like an anchor.

**_We slow dance in the living room, but all that a stranger would see is one girl swaying alone, stroking her cheek_ ** _._

If she had allowed herself an honest glance at the social media circuit she’d seamlessly integrated herself into, she would’ve noticed a concerned text from Jughead- _Is everything ok? Today’s been kinda, well, totally, insane._

\--

**_They say, “You’re a little much for me, you’re a liability. You’re a little much for me.”_ **

-Breathless, she ended the try-out routine with her right leg perfectly popped out. Left hand on her hip, right towards the ceiling with a triumphant smile. She had done it flawlessly-there was no question about it.

-Cheryl looked her upon and down with an unimpressed look-lips slightly downturned, eyebrow raised, before scribbling something off of her checklist impassively. “Better luck next year, Betsy Cooper.”

-To her side, Midge Klump nudges her with a sharp elbow, “What are you talking about? That was _perfect_.”

-The red-headed monarch rolls her eyes, before speaking loudly enough for the entire gym to hear-current and prospective Vixens alike, “It’s not a matter of the _routine_ , Midge. It’s _her_ , I need all of my Vixens to be completely versatile. I don’t think season five Betty Draper over here could be at the top of a pyramid, do you? That just screams social _liability_.”

-Cheryl sized her up one final time before Betty turned, walking out of the gym as quickly as possible. She knows she’s slumping rather miserably but can’t muster the confidence-her only concern being that she needs to get out of there as quickly as possible.

None of it mattered now, she was on the team, finally. A small voice nags at Betty, telling her that she _still_ isn’t good enough to be on the team- she wouldn’t even be there without Veronica. The notion drags her further down the rabbit hole-encouraging her spiral.

**_So they pull back, make other plans.  I understand, I’m a liability._ **

A year ago she had been spineless, merely accepting Cheryl’s rejection. A year ago-it had made sense to Betty. Of course she couldn’t _be_ on the top of the pyramid-not when she was so…overweight. If she couldn’t be on the top of the pyramid, she shouldn’t be on the team at all, Cheryl had been right. She’d done the same this year, until Veronica held her hand and refused to let her do it again.

**_Get you wild, make you leave. I’m a little much for everyone._ **

Speaking of Veronica, she’d encouraged Betty to go full dark-no stars. The raven haired beauty believed Betty was too glued to the rules to break them, unaware of the pot of darkness stirring beneath. When the smallest fraction bubbled over with the whole _Chuck Clayton_ situation, Betty didn’t miss the weary look in Veronicas eyes. She saw the way Ethel would step back, avoid her gaze in the hallway. 

Even when she was doing what she was told, what was expected, what was _right_ , it was still too much. She wanted to change the song once again, the melody too haunting, but couldn’t find the energy to do so.

\--

**_The truth is: I am a toy that people enjoy ‘til all of the tricks don’t work anymore and they are bored of me._ **

-As summer after freshman year began, right before her internship, it was time for the annual Cooper family barbecue. Like a show dog she was escorted to every family member, a judge evaluating her for something else, by her mother. Alice would proudly boast about Betty making the honor roll, insisting that _her_ daughter was something _special_ -just _so_ talented. But whenever Betty tried to speak, correct her mother on a fact or insert her own opinion, she was met with a sharp, discreet pinch to her arm.

-She was a songbird, stuck in a metal cage. Paraded around, praised for all of her colors but never allowed to sing.

 Betty never missed the way Polly looked at her, with unguarded jealousy. Still hurting from her breakup with Jason but had already fallen off of the tracks for Alice’s “doting”. Instead she lurked in the corners, spiting the younger sister and the wall that their ice queen had constructed between them. 

Betty could never forget the day she came home from her internship either, Polly wasn’t home. Her mother had distracted her with cookies and her insistence on hearing every detail about Toni Morrison. She didn’t think much about it-assuming Betty had made up with Jason, was hanging out with friends or something of the sort. It escaped her notice when Polly’s bedroom was empty that night-she was too caught up in her own world.

 Embarrassingly, it wasn’t until the morning after when she asked her parents about Polly’s whereabouts, blood running cold at the answer. What had happened to her sister, _who_ had she become? What had Jason Blossom _made_ her?

\--

**_I know that it’s exciting running through the night but every perfect summer is eating me alive until you’re gone._ **

-A fonder memory snaked its way into her brain. It was summer before freshman year. She’d given Kevin Keller a raincheck in favor of a day-before-school final summer rendezvous with Archie and Jughead. They’d just gotten milkshakes at Pop’s, and Jughead had made the mistake of telling Archie that football was nothing more than a systematic oppression of students-the faculty’s way of keeping “stupid athletes” entertained while they taught glossed over facts about history. 

-This had prompted Archie to reach into the bottom of his milkshake, scooping up the last bit of strawberry and whipped cream, and sticking it into Jughead’s ear. The beanie boy slammed his hands on the table flatly, exclaiming about how that was the final straw. Jestfully, he made to pummel Archie, to which the ginger responded by darting out of the Chock’lit shop in full-speed. They knocked into tables and chairs clumsily on their way out.

-Betty, of course, had to follow, running after them to ensure they didn’t kill each other. The two didn’t stop hunting each other, Archie wound up tripping over a stone which led to Jughead tripping over Archie- then lead to Betty tripping over both of them. They were a tangled mess in the park near Archie and Betty’s house, all having a scrape of some sort and bleeding just a bit. 

-Still they laughed for an infinite period of time, a perfect moment stuck in time, before Betty spoke. “So high school…” she trailed off.

-“Ah yes, the big hellish elephant in the room,” Jughead remarked dreadfully.

-“Nothing will change between us, right?” Betty asked, the more concerned and emotionally intelligent of the three. 

“Hell no,” Archie refuted, even then to their young ears it sounded too good to be true, “We could even do a blood pact _right_ now.”

-“Jughead and Betty both wrinkled their noses in disgust before reprimanding him about the _dangers_ of blood pacts.

Betty wondered now if the dangers would’ve been worth it, if they had made the pact would it have held true? The nature of the relationship between the three of them had altered completely-possibly for the better. It took a while to get to the “better” part of it all.  The scrapes and broken promises of the night weren’t much compared to the guilt that Alice had made Betty feel after.

It seemed as though, during the excitement, none of them had paid the bill for the shakes. They’d even broken a few plates in their exit, leaving an unpaid tab of $45, all of which Alice had paid for. 

-“It was _reckless_ Betty! Foolish,” Alice chastised, “I don’t want you hanging out with them anymore-they’re practically criminals!”

-“They’re my _best friends_ ,” she whined in return.

-“As long as that’s true,” her mother crossed her arms coldly as Hal averted his daughters gaze, “You’re nothing more than a financial liability to your father and I.”

And that moment was the beginning of the end, the moment when Betty determined that hanging out with the Sheriffs son would be a safer option. 

\-- 

**_They’re gonna watch me disappear into the sun. You’re all gonna watch me disappear into the sun._ ** ****

What teenager doesn’t contemplate running away every once in a while? Betty felt as though she was smart enough to pull it off-determined she might even make it a few towns over before anyone caught her.

At least, that’s what she used to think.

For Betty Cooper wasn’t a mountain-she was a compilation of many magnificent mountains. Each peak was a bullet on her resume but between each peak was a deep crevice, spanning thousands of feet downward into the darkness. All were invisible to the naked eye, previously only seen by one-Betty herself.

She couldn’t count the many occasions she wished for a force of an unknown entity to swoop her up and have her disappear for eternity-it seemed easier than actual life from time to time.

She felt unappreciated at times, holding on to an immature thought that maybe, _just maybe_ , everyone would recognize her hard work if only she could disappear.

She sat up straight, shaking the thoughts out of her head and shutting her speaker off. She had to get ready for the jubilee-she had a speech to practice, she needed to get changed-fix her hair, do her make up…

 Because, at the end of the day, liability or not, the only one she could count on was _herself._

\--

“Until he gets out, I’m not giving up on him Jug,” She asserts as they enter the newly-cleaned up trailer after the Jubilee. It was more of a success than she expected.

“Hell no,” Jughead says softly. It isn’t mean, there is no venom behind his words. Her stomach still swoops because she feels like an inconvenience.

She’s pushing a matter that some might claim is none of her business. It could just be pouring salt on an open wound for Jughead and it makes her feel guilty-she doesn’t want to hurt him anymore than he’s _been_ hurt. She’s upset about, well, _everything_ , but she knows that he must be even more hurt. It is _his_ life that got uprooted-his dad thrown in jail with a mother unable to take care of him. He’s the one to transfer schools, not her. But she’s protective, she won’t let the Serpents reputation be set ablaze because she knows the sparks will burn him. 

But she’s also overbearing. He transferred to protect her from being hurt yet she still persists-refusing to give up. So Betty expects the _“hell no”_ to be sarcastic, a bit tired. _Hell no_ she fills in the blank _of course you won’t give it up, not when you can be nothing more than a liability._

“That is why I love you, Betty,” he says softly, barely audible. She _must’ve_ heard it wrong. _That is why you keep getting hurt, Betty_ she supplies instead, _That is why you keep disappointing everyone, Betty; That is why you’re a liability Betty; That is why you’re a liability_ to me _Betty_.

Her mind is frozen, unbelieving, and slowly she turns to him. With just one sentence he temporarily blows her fears and insecurities out of the water. She _isn’t_ a liability. Not to Jughead Jones. Not when he repeats, “I love you, Betty Cooper.”

“Jughead Jones,” there’s a smile, pure and golden, that pulls at her face, “I love you.” 

And for the moment, outside world be damned to hell, everything is perfectly _unperfect_ and her heart is light again.

**Author's Note:**

> once upon a time i promised i'd never post something without proofreading it first but its 2 am and nothing matters at 2 am


End file.
